Problem with Having Multiple Partners


Reproduction is nature’s way of propagating itself. Every species in the animal and insect kingdom outdo human beings in reproduction. They mate whenever it is time for the species to bear their offspring.  Because they are at a lower level of evolution and awareness, they do not indulge in the “sexual” side for enjoyment.  That is where we humans are different from animals, insect and other species.  We have a conscious mind which loves the thrill of “sex” and once it gets hooked to the pleasure of sex, we continuously seek to be in sexual union.

Is sex just about procreation and enjoyment or is there something more to it? The oldest text on sex is the Kamasutra, written by an Indian Sage Vatsyayana Mallanaga  between the first and sixth century A.D.  Calling it literature that elaborates just sex and eroticism is doing it great disservice.  On the contrary, it  describes the union of the masculine and feminine cosmic principles and contains advice to men and women to achieve liberation or moksha. According to vedic texts, there are four goals for every human being to live a joyful and fulfilled life.  The four goals are Dharma (duties, rights, laws, conduct, virtues and right way of living), Artha (wealth, career, activity to make a living, financial security and economic prosperity), Kama (desire, wish, passion, emotions, pleasure of the senses), Moksha (ultimate liberation).  Only when we fulfill the first 3 goals, can we aspire for liberation.

Deepak Chopra, doctor- turned- spiritual guru, calls  Kama Sutra an enlightening spiritual guide. According to him “Sexual energy is the primal and creative energy of the universe. All things that are alive come from sexual energy”.  Desiring to have sex is natural because we are born with it. It is like a seed which sprouts at the appropriate time.  It is nature’s way of telling us “It is now time to procreate”.  It is a powerful force, which if mishandled get us into addictive behaviors where we seek to be in sexual union with just about anyone, which is harmful at all levels – physically, emotionally and spiritually.  With that understanding, we have to learn to hold this energy as sacred and carry it with a certain sense of responsibility. The environment we grow up in, how early we are exposed to sexual content, and the company that we keep play a crucial role in helping us learn to manage this primal force.

Unfortunately a large of the population indulge in casual sex and are constantly changing partners.  A majority of content on social media is sexual.   More and more children are exposed to this content at an age when they should be focused on learning and enhancing their physical capabilities and mental acumen. Without the mental and physical maturity, indulging in sexual behaviors, turns into a compulsive need, where changing partners just for a few minutes pleasure takes over.  These compulsions if not handled with proper understanding and awareness continues into adulthood.

Having multiple partners is harmful at many levels.  It increases the exposure to sexually transmitted diseases which are hard to cure.  Our body is a repository of tremendous amounts of memory. Every touch, smell, sound creates a memory in the body.  Being in intimate relationship with multiple people leaves huge amount memory in the body.  This exchange of memories between people creates confusion, depression, sadness, lack of fulfillment, poor decision making abilities and other negative emotions.  As we know the mind and body are connected.  Whatever happens within the body is felt by the mind.  The person may not have a clue why they are experiencing such confusion and misery, but overtime they can become an emotional wreck which inhibits their ability to be genuinely happy and function well in society.

Being in a relationship with a person who you love and deeply care for can provide an enriching sexual experience.  Every relationship needs tender love, caring and nurturing to be fulfilling.  It is only in such relationships that one can seek fulfillment at all levels – physical, emotional, mental and spiritual, thus reaching the goals of Dharma, Artha and Kama, which is a stepping stone to Liberation or Mokhsa.

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