How to Stop Bickering in a Relationship


When you see two people bickering over small things, it can get irritating. But these insignificant arguments do happen not only between kids but also between adults, particularly couples.

Do you often find yourself and your partner arguing on trivial things? If yes, you are not alone. This is because people have different ways to cope with problems and when frustration sets in, emotions are triggered even by the simplest events. Consequently, arguments take place.

Here are helpful ways to manage bickering in a relationship:

1. Learn how to communicate with each other.

There is a saying that “Blood is to life as communication is to love. When the flow of blood stops, the body dies. When communication stops, love dies”. Communication is the secret to a healthy relationship but according to experts, there is a difference between talking about the problems and not communicating properly to each other.

Too much talking can lead to nagging and can worsen the situation. What you need to do ask yourself what your arguments are about. What is important is that the positive experiences outweigh the negative ones and that these arguments are not serious at all. Also, be mindful of how you communicate with each other and do not let anger do the talking. By following these suggestions, you will see the difference.

2. Learn how to handle your arguments.

No two people are alike and the differences in personalities can lead to clashing and disagreements. By agreeing to disagree, you and your partner will find it easier to get through petty arguments. Instead of adding fuel to the fire by provoking the other person, learn when to keep silent and give in to the other. After a while, she or he will realize that there is no point in bickering because there is no one to argue with.

3. Learn to rephrase what your partner said.

Say, you went home late and your partner suddenly asks you why you did not call about being late. Instead of answering back, what you can do is to rephrase what your spouse or partner has just told you in a calm voice and not in a defensive tone. This will give the other person the chance to elaborate and express what he or she really feels. Giving the other a chance to clarify what was meant will make you understand where your spouse or partner is coming from and you can work it out.

4. Learn to really listen to what the other is saying.

If both of you will go on arguing, this can escalate to frustration and eventually resentment of each other. What you need to do is to listen carefully to what your partner is telling you. Let him or her feel that you are not ignoring the issue and that you understand what the problem is. Tell your spouse that you understand what he or she feels and you respect this. By doing so, your partner will feel respected and heard. Consequently, calmness will set in and you can now resolve the problem. The next time it happens and you are the one who has an issue about your spouse, you will be given the same respect and your partner will listen to you.

Arguments, once in awhile, are healthy because these are signs that your relationship is not boring. But too much bickering is not. With these tips, you can resolve petty arguments with your partner without ruining your relationship.

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