How to Get Rid Of Resentment in a Relationship


Relationships are not perfect and this is normal. However, while other people in romantic relationships overcome the hurdles and disagreements that come with the package, there are those who end up with frustration, disappointment and resentment toward their partners. Resentment is a combination of different emotions like fear, anger, bitterness and irritation. If not resolved, this can lead to the end of a relationship. Although it might not be easy, especially if the problem has been existing for a long time, there are still ways to get rid of the feeling of resentment towards the person you are in a relationship with.


1. Learn to forgive your partner.

Perhaps, you are familiar with the saying “Love means never having to say you are sorry”. Interpretations for this line can vary but one way to define this is that your partner will always be willing to forgive you from what you have done. But sometimes, it is really hard to forgive the person you love especially if you have been hurt so much. However, if the other person had asked for forgiveness and had worked hard to rectify what was done wrong, it is best to forgive and forget. Unless you learn to forgive, especially if it was just a tolerable mistake, you can let of resentment,

2. Talk with your partner about your feelings.

In any relationship, communication is the key. If you feel frustrated about your relationship and you know that something is not right between you and your husband or wife, let your spouse know about it but say it in a mild manner and do not scream at each other. Who knows, he or she might be feeling the same way or do not have an idea of what has been going on. Some people are just clueless and only need to get told. If you are open to each other and talk things over, whatever resentment has been kept inside will go away eventually.

3. Look at the glass half-full instead of half-empty.

If you only see the negative things about your relationship and your partner or spouse, chances are, you will always look for the other person’s mistakes. Instead of doing this, why not look at your relationship from a different point of view. Learn to appreciate the positive things about your relationship and the person you love? Instead of complaining about your husband not helping you in taking care of the kids when he gets home, why not ask him how his day was and be thankful for having a hard-working husband. If you will look at your relationship as a blessing despite of some flaws, there will be no room for resentment.

4. Learn to accept each other’s limitations and traits.

Relationships are not perfect and so are people.  Also, there will be times your partner will not be in the mood or will be cranky. Sometimes, this can be irritating. Before you let these issues ruin your relationship and end in both of you not able to stand each other, take a step back and analyze the situation. Remember that you fell in love with the person and these might even be the same traits that have drawn you to that person. If your wife starts to be insecure, talk to her and make her feel otherwise. People have different traits and unless they are violent and abusive, it is best to accept them for who they are and talk to them about your concerns. The key here is to look at the traits that made you love your spouse.

Resentment in relationships is unhealthy and can lead to bad break-ups. Before it ruins your love for your spouse or partner, try these tips and see what happens. Who knows, your love might even be deeper than before.

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