How to Salvage a Broken Relationship

We are humans, right? People make mistakes. Sometimes these mistakes can wreak havoc on our interactions with others and even end in a broken relationship. Even when you’ve been hurt, there are still ways to salvage broken relationships and reasons why you should. You will always have those sidekicks that will tell you, “move on, you don’t need them in your life anyway,” but there is a part of you in every relationship that you lose when you burn that bridge. When there is a change to mend it, try. Some say that people never change, but I think they can if given the right chance.

1. Spend Some Time In Thought.

First, to salvage a broken relationship you should really take the time to sit down and think about what exactly happened. Get out your journal, and start writing. Here are some questions that you can consider:

• How did I meet this person?
• How much did they mean to me throughout my life?
• What actually happened that caused a break in our relationship?
• What led up to that?
• What followed the situation? How did both parties respond?
• What responsibility did I play in this?
• What could I have done better?
• What would I tell this person if I could say everything I wanted to say, no filters?
• Are the things I want to say going to build them up or tear them down?
• What can I do to move forward?

Once you have gotten these questions answered for yourself, you should have a clear understanding of the past and where you want to move for the future. It is nice to have this conversation with yourself first, before including the other party. This way you have already rehearsed how you feel and worked through some feelings that needed sorting.

2. Extend An Invite.

Invite the other person for brunch, lunch, dinner, coffee, etc. Plan a time to meet up. You might want to share with them what your purpose is for the meeting. “Hey, I would really like to chat about our relationship and work on mending it. I’ve spent some time in thought and I really hope you’ll do the same before we can meet for dinner next week.” Do not be cryptic or catty. Just be honest and completely transparent about why you want to meet.

3. Talk It Out. Plan For The Future.

When you meet up with the person, talk about how you felt and how you’d like to move forward. Practice using “I-Statements” instead of “You-Statements”. For example, instead of saying “You really made me mad when you…”, try saying “I felt very discouraged whenever…”. Remember to be honest, but try to keep the communication aimed at building the relationship- not further tearing it down.

Lastly, forgive. Let the past be the past. Work towards a better future. No keeping score. No tally marks. Start fresh.