People tend to stay in relationships that are self-defeating for a long period of time because they fear of being alone. This thing also happens because they feel that they should be responsible for the happiness of their partner. Although they want to be free from this dilemma, they still end up holding their ground. For some though, they manage to leave but they still repeat the same mistake in a new relationship with the familiar self-destructive pattern.
The problem with being so passionate toward someone is that it can be addictive. For them, the reason behind this excessive emotional reliance on their partner is referred to as codependency. This is when they put the needs of others before they can satisfy their own. You are said to be codependent if you have one or more of these relationship patterns.
1. Pleasing People
It is your nature to go above and beyond just to make others happy. This is when you fear to confront your partner regarding certain issues as you fear being rejected or you worry more about the feelings of your partner.
2. Gives Too Much in a Relationship
This is the time when you will ignore taking care of yourself or you feel that you are being selfish if you do so.
3. Having Poor Boundaries
You tend to have trouble to say no to what others request from you or you only allow others to take advantage of you.
4.Getting in Distant Relationships, Abusive or Unavailable
In your mind, you still have to be in a distant relationship because you think it is better to have something to look forward to. The problem lies when you know deep inside that it shouldn’t be able to satisfy your emotional needs.
Steps to Reclaim Healthy Love Life
1. Visualizing Yourself being in a Relationship that Meets Your Needs
When you notice yourself to be in a destructive relationship, try to consider self-sabotaging and then try to look at your own behaviors.
2. Challenging Beliefs and Self-Defeating Thoughts Regarding Your Self-Worth
Take note that you don’t need to prove anything to any individual regarding your worth.
3. Noticing Your Self-Judgments that are Negative
You can do this by trying to be more compassionate about yourself.
4. Remind Yourself that It’s Healthy to Receive Help from Others
Take note that it is always a good thing to accept other people’s help. This can be in a form of counselling, online resources, and friendships that could be the key in finding a healthy relationship.
5. Never Allow Fear of Rejection to Hinder You from Achieving a Healthy Relationship
Don’t try to hold back from the possibility of getting into an intimate and loving relationship. If you want to let go of a relationship wherein the only person who seem to care is you, then it is about time that you need to look for one that should make you feel at home. This shouldn’t work if you always keep your guard up and not letting anyone in.
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