Relationships are a source of many things for us, though it is often joy that we are seeking. Being born on earth means we will experience some form of relationship with someone else. Many have given their thoughts about relationships and a common theme that comes up again and again is love. Reading someone else’s experience with love and relationships can be inspiring. Perhaps their words will help us make decisions that will be to our benefit rather than making a similar mistake as someone who has already gone through what we are going through.
“Truth is everybody is going to hurt you: you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for.”
Bob Marley
Sometimes it’s possible to get caught up in having a relationship, and the person whom we have it with might not necessarily be worth the suffering. We want a relationship for whatever reason, and it seems inevitable that if we truly love someone we will allow them to behave how they want, knowing they are worth it.
“Intense love does not measure, it just gives.”
Mother Teresa
When we love intensely, we don’t discriminate if someone else is worthy to receive it. We are willing to love whomever regardless of their actions.
“Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.”
Rumi
Everyone is capable of generating their own love. At times, another person can be a helpful trigger to generate the feeling of love. Although it’s helpful to remember that love is a possibility in everyone regardless if there’s another lover or not.
“Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.”
Goethe
Marriage is a lifelong commitment, and therefore it will reflect life in the sense that there will be many fluctuations. Perhaps there is a romantic idea around love that we can be buoyant above all stresses in life if we have love. But when it comes to marriage, wherein love is assumedly foundational, it requires handling the nitty gritty components of a relationship. Problems might arise, and lofty ideals about love won’t be the solution.
“Love is the word used to label the sexual excitement of the young, the habituation of the middle-aged, and the mutual dependence of the old.”
John Ciardi
Some people have a cynical experience with love and notice how we attach the word to relationships that are based around maintaining certain comforts. When we fall into cultural scripts for love our relationships can become stale or robotic. It’s important to create the life we want and relationships that will help fulfill us.
“Love built on beauty, soon as beauty, dies.”
John Donne
Our bodies all have to go through an aging process. People that form a relationship rooted in physical attraction risk being disturbed once their bodies begin to deteriorate. Love doesn’t have to be something that falters, or dies, but when we attach it to aspects of life that are regenerative—elements based in time, then love will leave with the cyclical item it’s attached to.
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