John was a go-getter. Being a project manager, when things stalled on the project, he would often get frustrated and angry at the situation. He would get into verbal arguments with members of his team, and so they did not like working with him. They would rather quit the job or move to a different project rather than work with “Unreasonable John”. Eventually, the project failed because key members of his team left.
Kathy, a manager at a company, loved her work and the people on her team. She knew the art of balancing team spirit and work deadlines. The team knew that they had a understanding boss who would always actively listen to their problem and guide them towards a solution. Kathy always appreciated them even when they completed small quantities of work, which kept them motivated and engaged to achieve the big milestones. Thus, Kathy and her team had many successes under their belt.
Why did John fail and Kathy succeed? Both were equally talented at management. In fact John had several certifications and worked long hours just so the project gets delivered on time. However the team’s concerns was not his top priority. His selfishness and anger caused his project to fail. Kathy put in the hard yards when needed, and was attentive to her team’s concerns. While John got angry and resentful when he did not see progress, Kathy kept encouraging her team and celebrated even the small accomplishments, creating a positive vibe between her and the team. She had risen beyond her need for success and wanted to see everyone on the team succeed.
Anger and frustration are very powerful, but negative emotions. It moves people to get things done in the short term, but over time these emotions create fatigue, tiredness and resentment. That reminds us of Newton’s third law ” Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”. Similarly anger begets anger and it festers in everyone’s mind, even though they may not say anything at that moment. However, it reflects in everything they do; their work and their interaction with people around them which turns into a vicious cycle. Hence the environment gets charged with a negative energy, which is not conducive.
As humans our inherent quality is happiness, which we try to seek through our external environment like work, family, friends etc. Being in negative surroundings drains us. When the negativity becomes unbearable many choose to walk away from the their closest relationships. On one hand distancing from the painful situations is a profound and bold step one can take, but on the other both parties lose trust in relationships due to the bitterness it caused. It takes a lot of healing for some to even begin to have healthy relationships again.
Appreciation has the opposite effect of anger. Genuine appreciation shows that people are valued for who they are and for what they do. It builds trust, brings people together and creates a harmonious environment. This kind of environment does wonders for the body, mind and spirit, because it is this type of ambience that enable us to stay connected with our true inner-self. It brings out our joyful nature which reflects in everything we do and everyone we interact with. A vibrant energy field is created where everyone feels inspired and motivated to accomplish more – just like Kathy’s team did when they were tasked with challenging projects.
Success naturally follows those who give their best every moment. When we truly appreciate people around us, it us who stand to benefit from it, because they give us the best of who they are. Isn’t that what we are striving for? To do our best every day? To move from Anger to Appreciation takes effort because it means we have to consciously radiate this energy by celebrating every moment regardless what it hold for us. External circumstance are not in our control, but how we approach it makes a difference between failure and success.
For starters make a conscious effort to appreciate everything that you come in touch with – the air that you breath, water that you drink, food that you eat, people that love you despite your shortcomings, the house that shelters you and so on. If you do this every day very soon you will find that the quality of your experience transforms from self-serving to serving to ALL, enriching not only your life, but that of everyone around you. Success will be yours for sure.
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