How to Deal With a Manipulator in a Relationship


Being in love is never easy. The excitement and lust of a new relationship can wear off quickly and you are left dealing with the real flaws and issues of someone’s personality. Everyone has different personality traits that make them unique, but some are worse than others. If you are in a relationship with someone that is manipulative, this can be extremely difficult. Trying to make this relationship work is not easy. It is important for you to be able to recognize when your partner is displaying manipulative behavior and how you can deal with it. Keeping your relationship healthy and happy when your partner is manipulative is not easy, but it is manageable if your partner is willing to put in the effort to change.

What is Manipulation?

Manipulation is not always straightforward. This means that it is not always easy to identify. If someone is being manipulative they are essentially creating an imbalance of power in some way to get what they want. Their agenda is all that matters and they do not care about what they have to do or how they make you feel in order to serve their self. When you are dealing with a partner that is manipulative, it is important to remember that one of their strengths is to pinpoint what your weaknesses are. They want to determine what your weaknesses are so that they can use them to make you vulnerable. This means that they are looking to use your weaknesses against you in any way that they can.

They get what they want, but they do so by making you freely give it to them. This means that they guilt you into it or use some other ploy to get you to do whatever it is that serves them most. The bottom line is that a person that is manipulative is looking to serve their own interests. This means that they are selfish and your feelings are not something that matters to them. Being in a relationship with someone that only cares about themself is not ideal. The point of a relationship is to have a partner that has your best interest at heart, but this is not the case with someone that is manipulative.


The main thing that you need to remember when you are dealing with a partner that is manipulative is that they most likely have deep seated issues. This means that they act in a manipulative way because they have some sort of unresolved issue that causes them to responds in this way. Being manipulative is not something that is normal, but it can be a response for someone that is dealing with a psychological issue. Here are the best ways that you can deal with a partner that is manipulative.

Know Your Rights

Dealing with a manipulator is not easy, but the only way that you can stick up for yourself is to know what your rights are. This means that you need to be able to recognize when you are being manipulated. You need to stand up for yourself and not let someone else push you around in any way. This means that you do need to speak up for yourself. Allowing yourself to be manipulated over and over again is weak and over time it will leave you with a broken spirit and will. You need to demand that you are treated better from your partner and you have to stand up for your rights. Always giving in will not work out long term. You have the right to be treated with respect and for your feelings to matter. Manipulators do not have the right to take away your happiness in any way.


You can spot a manipulator by watching how your partner acts in different social settings. If they are acting different with different people and constantly changing, you will be able to tel that they are trying to manipulate the situation. This means that you need to keep your eyes open and notice of your partner is constantly putting on a show. This is a sign that they are not being genuine and are really only out for themself. Spotting these behaviors early on is important because it can help you avoid getting into a relationship with someone that displays manipulative tendencies.

Don’t Blame Yourself

The one thing that you need to try and avoid doing when you are in a relationship with a manipulator is blame yourself. The goal of a manipulator is to pray on your weaknesses and to get you to feel guilty. This is just giving them what they want. Blaming yourself is not the way to go. Instead of blaming yourself, you need to try sticking up for yourself. If you are in a relationship that is healthy, the other person wants you to feel good about yourself. Putting you down is not the ultimate goal. Do not take all the blame off of your partner and rationalize their actions. This will only make the manipulation worse.

Ask Questions

One of the best ways that you can deal with a partner that is being manipulative is to ask questions. This means that when you identify that they are trying to take advantage of you or make you feel guilty, you need to ask them why they are acting this way. When you ask probing questions to a manipulator, you have the ability to better understand why they are trying to manipulate you. When you ask questions that show you know they alter trying to manipulate you, you are holding up a mirror that shows them how they are acting. Most people that are acting in a manipulative way do not even realize that they are doing so. Show them how they are acting by asking them real questions that indicate you are aware that they are trying to manipulate you.

Say No

You can’t always just blame your partner for being manipulative. There comes a time when need to take responsibility for yourself. This means that you need to take a stand and stop allowing yourself to be manipulated. Saying no is something that you need to learn how to do. It might not always be easy or be your natural response, but you need to take back some control in your own relationship and stick up for yourself. You can’t just always play the victim, you need to stop allowing your partner to take advantage of you in that way. Saying no is a lot easier than you may think if you just give it a try.

Know When to Leave

Everyone has their flaws and relationships require work, but there comes a time when a relationship is no longer healthy. If you are in a relationship with someone that is manipulative, it might be time that you moved on. If the other person does not care about your feelings, they are not always the right person for you. Dealing with someone that is manipulative is not always possible and sometimes is best for you to move on to a relationship that makes you feel happy and appreciated like you deserve to be.

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