Abandonment issues may stem from a variety of causes. A person’s parent may have left them, or passed on. They may have suffered a tragic loss, been through a nasty divorce, or simply suffered a dramatic breakup after a long-term relationship.
Whatever the cause, abandonment issues can breed difficulty in otherwise healthy relationships. The person who is dealing with abandonment issues may show this through stress, fear, paranoia, anxiety, or anger. It can take some work, but these issues can be overcome – it takes two people to succeed, however. One who is willing to be honest about their issues, and another who is willing to be understanding about them.
Be Honest With Yourself
The very first step is solving any problem is by being honest with yourself. Admit that you have abandonment issues, and think about the root cause of them. It may be painful to relive hurtful memories, but it is vital to recovery.
Be Open & Talk It Out
Once you’ve been honest with yourself, it’s time to be honest with your partner. A truly understanding partner will allow you to talk about your issues, and why you have them. Once they are out in the open, your partner will be able to better understand why you sometimes react the way you do. Even though you are working out how to deal with (and eventually get over) these issues, everyone is only human. You may mess up a few times along the path to recovery.
Think, Don’t React
Finally, you need to remember to think, don’t react. Instead of acting out in anger, or throwing a fit over something small, think about your feelings first. Are your feelings normal in a healthy relationship? Or are your feelings pertaining to your abandonment issues? Here are a few examples:
It would be normal to act out in anger if your spouse disappeared for days without telling you where he was. It would be your abandonment issues if you felt angry that they wanted to go out with their friends for a few hours.
It would be normal to be upset that your partner was leaving for a business trip, because you would miss them. It would be your abandonment issues if you called them every hour while they were gone, convinced they were cheating on you.
Learning how to deal with abandonment issues in a relationship can be a long, hard road. Overcoming these issues will feel impossible at times, but by using these three simple tips, you can assure yourself you are on the right path.