35 Quotes About Sarcasm and Wit

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How you present yourself will help you create an image of wits and intelligence to the audience you speak to. These quotes about sarcasm and wit remind you that there are also limitations to how far you can push it.

“Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?”

“Don’t take life so seriously, it isn’t permanent.”

“Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”

“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”

“Expect nothing and you’ll never be disappointed.”

“I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.”

“I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…”

“I’ve lowered my expectations to the point where they’ve already been met!”

“If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.”

“If the grass is greener on the other side, you can bet the water bill is higher.”

“If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.”

“In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.”

“In the end everything we do, is just everything we’ve done.”

“Knowledge is realizing that the street is one-way, wisdom is looking both directions anyway.”

“Let’s share, You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

“Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot…”

“Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.”

“Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”

“Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, but the highest form of intelligence.”

“She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but broke it off.”

“Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A flat minor.”

“Stupidity is not a crime, so you’re free to go.”

“Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.”

“Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.”

“That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.”

“The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.”

“The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large…”

“Those who laugh last think slowest.”

“Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.”

“Whoever said nothing was impossible obviously never tried slamming a revolving door.”

“You never learn anything by doing it right.”

“You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.”

“Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.”

“Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.”

There is little prove to show that sarcasm can actually make you appear smarter than you are.

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