The Healer Within

Part of our self-narrative is that “I am the one suffering, and I need to find someone else to come and fix me.”  Read that again, it’s quite profound – because there is an inbred belief that I am my suffering, and it is an absolutely integral part of me.  It’s so deeply held that it’s never even questioned, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

Suspend belief.  For one moment, dare to ask, are you really your suffering?  Stop!  No mental analysis allowed.  This is a question for the heart.  Are you your suffering?

Try an exercise.  Find some time alone, away from the usual chaos of life and sit comfortably in a quiet place.  Take three super deep, super cleansing breaths.  Now gently feel into your suffering and describe the sensations – not the story, judgements or self-justifications – the sensations themselves.  Is there perhaps a contraction?  A feeling somewhere in the body?  An impression of powerlessness, limitation, or guilt?  Is there hurting, shame, or anger?  Whatever comes up, it’s ok.  Just be with it, without resistance.

Now ask, “what do I need?”  What lies deeper than just wanting the suffering to go away?  I need love, compassion, forgiveness… I need to be held…  I need to be seen and valued…  I need to feel safe… I need to know there’s more than this…  I need to know it’s going to be ok… what else?  Let the answers flood in.  Tears are welcomed too, it’s just you and yourself.

Alright, now shift your perspective and see the one who is suffering and in need.  Imagine that person maybe as a younger version of you, even a child or adolescent.  What would you give them, how would you respond to their need?  Maybe you would embrace them, tell them you love them, and just hold them as they cry their heart out.  Maybe you would just hold their hand in compassionate silence.  Maybe you would tell them what a wonder of creation they are, and how divinity chose to manifest in this life.  Open up your consciousness and let grace flow through you, to the person that is hurting.

If finding that little space between your inner true self and your identifications with the suffering self seems undoable, then just face yourself and say, “I love you.”  Say, “I love you, and I forgive you.”  Repeat it from the absolute depths of your heart.  Go deep into your gut and dig it up from the very core of yourself and say, “I love you, and I forgive you.”

There is a healer within.  No proof is needed; it’s why there is such a thing as placebo effect in medicine.  So much so that all clinical trials have to design around this… internal healer.  Our beliefs about being the one who is suffering, sick, mentally agitated are a blockage to reaching this healer.  If we can just become aware enough to break that identification, then we can shift perspective and begin to heal, instead of being stuck as the victim.